the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
try to milk me bitch
Randomize