I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
