I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
