so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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