Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
whose ass print is on the piano?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
