I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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