I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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