she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
