chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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