i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
