How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
