i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
