I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
There are leaves in my underwear?
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