peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize