There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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