Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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