he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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