I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
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