she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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