We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
