I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
