I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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