he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
