hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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