You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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