I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Randomize
