also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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