How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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