Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
