I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do vagina's smell?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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