My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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