Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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