well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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