I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
