we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
