If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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