FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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