There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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