on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
