Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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