looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
