Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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