Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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