hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
