You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
