What did we do last night that was yellow?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
