oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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