my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
