(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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