I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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