But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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