yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We're too hungover to prance.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
