She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
