I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
