I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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