I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Can Purell be used as lube?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
