I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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