cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
