How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
