do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
