I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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