I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
