end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
