Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
